Nothing's worse than saving your cash for that once-a-year splurge, and then being too intimidated to enjoy it. High-end restaurants in New York seem designed to scare off the uninitiated with their "War and Peace"-sized wine lists and unfamiliar ingredients (sunchokes?). To save you the trouble, we asked the experts the hard questions like "What if I'm seated next to the bathroom?"

1. When the dress code says jacket required, is that just a guideline?
At restaurants like Daniel, "jacket required" means just that. But at others, the rules get, um, fuzzier. Thomas Wilson, general manager at Mas says, "If your date spent three hours putting herself together, walk into the restaurant looking the same damn way or you look like an idiot. … and, doctors, this includes surgical scrubs! Believe me, nobody cares that you are a doctor." The takeway? Call ahead to be sure.

2. What if I don't like my table?
If you find yourself seated at a less than desirable table (aka, next to the bathroom), do ask if there's something else available. Just don't be upset when the answer is no. Jo-Ann Makovitzky, owner of Tocqueville, explains, "The restaurant has its carefully designed best plan of action to accommodate different size parties arriving at different times throughout the evening. While we always try to accommodate all requests, it's not always possible."

3. If I have to make a show afterward, is it OK to mention it?
Ideally, you should leave time for a leisurely dinner. Will Guidara, general manager of Eleven Madison Park, stresses, "A high-end dining experience takes longer than a casual meal. And if you're going to spend this much money, you might as well enjoy it." But if you're in a time crunch, let your server know sooner rather than later. Once the gears are motion, you're SOL. On the flip side, don't linger excessively at the table. Ann-Margret Gidley, a server at Fleur de Sel, describes a pet peeve, "If you're the last table in the dining room, don't ask if you're keeping me. If you're the last person there, then you're keeping me. I'm not going to tell you you are."

4. Is it tacky to ask the price of the specials?
Although some would say yes, including Mas' Wilson, others like Hakan Swahn, owner of Aquavit, say absolutely not: "It's tacky if the waiter does not volunteer the information without having to ask. Two weeks ago we had dinner with some friends, one of which wanted the special spaghetti with white truffles. No price was offered, and he felt embarrassed to ask despite me urging him to do so. It ended up costing him about $50 more than he expected and wasn't worth it."

5. What if I'm allergic to something on the menu, or just don't like a particular ingredient?
Allergies are one thing--no restaurant wants you to end your night in an ambulance. As for custom-building your dish, it gets a little trickier. Says Gidley, "Whenever it's possible, we will do it. You should enjoy what you're going to have, but don't go overboard. The chef is a chef because he knows what he's doing."

6. Should I tip the sommelier, and what happens if I don't like the wine?
Most restaurants pool their tips, and the sommelier is then tipped out of that pool. Michel Couvreux, sommelier at Cru, says sometimes high rollers will tip him extra, but it's by no means necessary. If you don't like the wine the sommelier suggested, you can send it back; just don't act like you're trying on hats at a store. And if you ordered your wine without the sommelier, you're pretty much stuck.

7. What's the deal with wine glasses that come to the table with wine residue already in them?
A few restaurants, notably Mario Batali spots like Babbo, will prime their glasses by rinsing them quickly with the wine diners have ordered. According to the restaurant's website, "The point is to rid the glasses of off odors or other impurities." However, according to Couvreux, "If your glasses are clean, and don't like smell detergent, it's not really necessary." Two snaps for the Frenchman!

We'd to love hear your thoughts on these points, plus any we may have missed, so be sure to leave a comment to help aid your fellow reverse-slummers.

(Photo courtesy of Aquavit)