Apparently it's not too late to be sending out invites for parties that take place three hours from now. This one, courtesy of Music Nation, boasts a live acrobatic performance at 11pm, and live tarantulas, which, as far as I'm concerned, is actually a reason to stay the hell away from Broadway and Grand Street, but you be the judge. 

With all this talk of costume parties, I realize we've lost sight of what's really important about Halloween: Liquid candy. And what good is a costume if you're not drunk enough to forget how stupid you look dressed like that? Lucky for you, we've compiled a list of where to enjoy the best Halloween cocktails, so those of you who aren't privileged enough to be participating in one of these events can drink away your pain and sorrow.   

Not a boozer? That's weird and you probably don't have a good a social life, but nevertheless here's something spooky for you, too.

And remember, kids, don't take candy from strangers, but do accept free drinks from anyone willing to buy them for you.

Hendrick's Gin is offering New Yorkers a rather bizarre way to spend Thursday evening, namely, drinking G&Ts whilst having their shoes shined at Pete's Tavern. The festivities begin at 7pm, and every guest will get a free gin & tonic and a free shoe shine, so dress the part.

Tuesday began with some startling news--apparently if you're in your early twenties, and you go out drinking roughly four times a week (which I do, give or take three days), and have an average of nine drinks each time (everyone does that, right? Of course, not including shots, obviously) then you are really, really screwed. Based on that data, according to the Drink-O-Meter, in my short lifetime I've managed to consume roughly 13,053.04 drinks, at a total cost of $125,309.10, the same rating as notorious booze hound Boris Yeltsin. Apparently, that's enough liquor to fill more than 30 bathtubs, and nearly enough money to buy a Ferrari. Fantastic.

Spend Wednesday with ?uestlove at the Hiro Ballroom, for the aptly named Hiroween party, starting at 9pm.

Just in case you didn't think Marquee was bad enough on a regular night, be sure to check out the scene on a holiday known for little more than being a huge party night. I'm sure there will be no lines, no crowds, and certainly no waiting to get your hands on a $14 drink. Nope. Not at Marquee. On Halloween.

Hiro Ballroom too crowded? Good thing you're just a few steps from another party at the Cabanas at the Maritime Hotel. The GBH-thrown event has a cemetery theme--which will be painfully ironic at 2am when you're ready to kill yourself either because you're way too sober or because you're way too drunk to handle work tomorrow. So either way, it's pretty much win-win.

Here are some more reasons to call in sick on Thursday ...

Buddha Bar
The Bloc Group invites you to celebrate at its Heaven & Hell party, featuring music by DJ Stephane Pompougnac, starting at 9pm. A good or evil costume is mandatory, so girls, don't forget to slap on a pair of angel wings or devil's red cape atop that trashy get-up you think is OK to wear just because it's Halloween.

Also, don't forget to RSVP to Karima Rasul.

Rebel
Michael T, Justine D, Johnny T and Georgie Seville present Motherfucker's Monster Mash Night of a Thousand Monsters Halloween Frightfest. There's an open vodka bar from 10pm to 11pm, which means lots of people will show up at 10pm. I say get there as early as you can if you want to get in and get at least two free drinks before the real freaks come out--which they always do for Motherfucker parties.

Room Service
Bell Hop Wednesdays at Room Service brings you Night of the Living Club Kids, with music by Rev Run, Pase Rock and Mel Debarge.

You can find a slew of other Halloween parties, parades and more on our complete Halloween planner.

When we heard that the King of Crunk Lil Jon was collaborating with DJ Spider on a series of mix tapes called Rock Box--as in rock and roll, crunk style, we wanted to know more. As DJ Spider tells it, he was DJ'ing the after party for the first post-Katrina New Orleans Saints home game last year, when he saw Lil Jon in the crowd and decided to do a live remix of "Snap Yo Fingers." Evidently Lil Jon approved, because he soon invited Spider to his studio, and the rest is history. The duo is currently manning the DJ booth at a select number of gigs--including a recent party for Travis Barker's Famous Stars and Straps clothing line, held recently at Tao Beach in Las Vegas--but no details yet on when they'll hit the New York club circuit. If we can't party with Lil Jon, we figured the least we could do is report on where he likes to party in New York. In his own words ...

1. Marquee
My boy Noah T. takes care of me.

2. Tenjune
The music is always good and there are always plenty of models!

3. Room Service
Every Wednesday they play good old-school hip-hop.

4. Scores
Need I say more?

5. Butter
The only spot on a Monday night to get crunkkk in NYC.

And there you have it.

---

Thanks to Lil Jon for the commentary and Tamar Juda for procuring Lil Jon.

This is why Craigslist is awesome (click the image to enlarge or go to the original post).

A taste of the week's best stories, courtesy of the wacky and wonderful world wide web ...

Striptease
Some Scores strippers were invited to help pass out candy at a Park Slope middle school fund raiser, but were later uninvited, after everyone realized that some Scores strippers had been invited to help pass out candy at a Park Slope middle school. [The Daily News]

In a related story, it turns out we're not the only ones who like strippers--Gridskipper does too, as per their guide to the city's best venues in which to get drunk and watch a naked chick make love to a pole. [Gridskipper]

AM New York's Best of Dining & Nightlife Awards*
Free daily paper AMNY handed over the title of best sports bar to The Blue Seats, remarking that the controversial L.E.S. sports bar--which has been on Eater's dreaded Deathwatch list since before it opened--has a refreshingly "upscale vibe" (where "upscale" = "expensive"). [AMNY]

*I'll take this opportunity to plug the Best of Citysearch nightlife winners, announced last week.

Dear Food Diary
New York Magazine interviewed Imogen Lloyd Webber, daughter of Andrew and author of "Single Girl's Survival Guide." I use the term "interview" loosely--really, it's a special report on the riveting details of Webber's daily food intake. It turns out that when she's not at Beatrice Inn or Soho House, Webber simply adores pumpkin seeds and English breakfast tea. So ... there's that. [NY Mag]

The as-yet unnamed new bar--which has a Southern theme, right down to the purported mechanical bull--from Spitzer's Corner / Fat Baby / Dark Room proprieters Rob and Will Shamlian opened at 133 Essex St, adding to the neighborhood's ever-growing bevy of bars. [Eater]

As reported by Grub Street some weeks back, there's been activity inside the space formerly occupied by East Village restaurant Uovo at 11th Street and Avenue B, soon to be La Scarpetta. I knocked on the front door this afternoon and had a nice chat with the executive chef, who confirmed that an Italian restaurant is in the works and will be opening in some capacity very soon, but the exact plans remain up in the air after the community board twice denied them a liquor license. They are in the process of appealing to the state liquor authority and have a lawyer who has "never lost a case"--although lawyers throw that phrase around as much as their clients do the phrase "I'm being framed," so make of it what you will.  ... Continue reading on Bottomless Dish.