Tuesday began with some startling news--apparently if you're in your early twenties, and you go out drinking roughly four times a week (which I do, give or take three days), and have an average of nine drinks each time (everyone does that, right? Of course, not including shots, obviously) then you are really, really screwed. Based on that data, according to the Drink-O-Meter, in my short lifetime I've managed to consume roughly 13,053.04 drinks, at a total cost of $125,309.10, the same rating as notorious booze hound Boris Yeltsin. Apparently, that's enough liquor to fill more than 30 bathtubs, and nearly enough money to buy a Ferrari. Fantastic.