A New York tipster sent us this photo of the lovely and informative message she discovered scrawled on the bottom of her coffee cup (from a Chicago Starbucks) earlier today. No wonder Starbucks is one of the best companies to work for in the entire United States: Underwear is optional, and the baristas have lots of free time. Y'know, for writing dirty messages on the bottom of my Venti half-caff and what not.

Above: Behold the half-stocked bar at Touch, which opened to the "public" last night

Just when I swore that I would sooner eat a bullet than go to another nightclub in midtown, I found myself walking down West 52nd Street--which was swimming with crazed, show-tune addicts looking for a fix outside "Jersey Boys"--and rolling up to the entrance of Touch, the latest incarnation at the space formerly known as Float (and before that, Temple Bar).

Last night, Touch rolled out the red carpet for several hundred "VIP" guests, most of whom were either members of the media or there for a movie wrap party (Guest of a Guest reports that the movie is called "The Source," and stars John Legend, Wyclef Jean and others, though we didn't see any of them there last night and can't confirm on IMDB or elsewhere).

Although I still have a headache from inhaling the fresh paint fumes (and perhaps from the free Belvedere), I must admit the space is pretty nice, at least as gaudy midtown clubs go. A menu of $14 specialty cocktails like the Unforgiving Cider (cinnamon-infused whiskey, Port wine, apple cider, fresh lime and maple syrup) and Seductive Pom (Absolut Kurant, pomegranate juice, fresh lemon and sparkling muscato) will surely be a hit with, theater-goers and, um, Jersey boys, but it's difficult to say this early whether Touch will manage to escape the fate of its predecessors, especially since it's under the same ownership. Then again, we're pretty sure we spotted Gawker's photographer there, so maybe they're getting the right people on-board early.

The problem is, for a club on West 52nd Street to stay afloat, they're going to need some of the foot traffic provided by nearby attractions like Broadway shows, Times Square, Roseland, etc., but in order for a club to maintain its exclusivity and street cred, it's going to have to deny access to those very same people. Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Above: This dude LOVES the scene at Pacha (Photo by Peter Drier)

Earlier this fall, Citysearch readers had the opportunity to vote for the Best of Citysearch Nightlife awards in more than 25 categories. While the editors get to pick one winner per category, the other 10 on the list are solely determined by the site's users. Knowing that users often have a thing or two to teach stuck-in-their-ways editors, I decided to investigate the best Singles Scene category, in which the audience voted for Pacha, BLVD and People in first, second and third place respectively. Regardless of their other virtues, these spots wouldn't make it to the top of my list of singles bars, and yet the readers had spoken--these were their favorites. My undercover mission: To take single girlfriends out to investigate these bars, and evaluate the singles scenes for myself. Read on for the play-by-play account of what happens when some hot single chicks in their 20s go to a bar and wait for the vultures to strike.

(I realize some of you may be wondering what we look like--after all, if we're a couple of desperate, snaggle-toothed hoochies, then perhaps that would explain it if we found that singles looking for some action should consider going elsewhere. Suffice it to say that each of us can hold our own when it comes to the opposite sex.)

First up was People (above), voted third best singles bar in our poll. This was my first time at People, and based on my experience with bars on Friday night, I can say that nothing of any interest takes place at this bar, and getting lucky is perhaps the least likely of all. We arrived during prime-time drinking hours--around 12am, and the place was almost empty. What few people were there were primarily in co-ed groups or couples, which is great for cohabitators, bad for singles. We couldn't even engage the bartender in conversation, and no one tried to talk to us, let alone hit on us. We held out until 1:30am, when we could take it no longer, and after stopping off The Sixth Ward for a few more drinks, we called it a night. 

With one bar down and two to go, on Saturday night we decided to start on the Bowery at BLVD and work our way up. That dream turned out to be short-lived, when we arrived there only to discover that BLVD was closed for a private party. But alas, drinkers can't be planners, so we scrapped bar No. 2 and decided to make moves to West 46th Street club Pacha, the audience-voted winner for Singles Scene (as well as best See and Be Scene Bar and Dance Club).

Pacha is run like a well-oiled machine. From the minute you step out of a taxi, you'll be told exactly where to stand, where to line-up for the body-cavity search, which staircase to take, and so on. As far as I could tell, Pacha appeals to three main groups of people: Euros, bridge and tunnelers who come to dance, and bridge and tunnelers who come to pick up women with their VIP credentials (where by "credentials" I mean "bottles of Grey Goose"). And, we learned, they all like women with skin.

Above: At Pacha, the frigid November weather has no effect on this girl, who wore a shoelace instead of a shirt

After three or four rounds of drinks and no potential suitors, we took a cue from a girl on the dance floor (above), and decided it was time to break out the heavy artillery: we removed our extra layers of clothing. Low and behold, within a split-second of baring some flesh, bachelor No. 1 had miraculously appeared. He introduced himself as Paul--"from Staten Island, unfortunately"--and wore a white baseball cap covered with the word "Firenze" in black lettering. (We later learned that Paul had never actually been to Florence, but his friend had gone to Italy and brought back this lovely souvenir.) According to Paul, Pacha is "Mostly B&T. People pretty much come here for the DJs and the dancing.” He invited us to join him on the mezzanine where he had an open tab, but we declined.

We were soon trapped in a conversation with two men whose names were Orlando and Ivan (or was it Igor?). During my unfortunate chat with Orlando, he informed me that my "beauty was international" and asked if I'd ever heard of his native Albania. Only moderately traumatized, we excused ourselves from that conversation and returned to the bar where we were approached once more, this time by a guy who valiantly tried to chat us up with lines like "Come here often?" We chugged what remained of our drinks before cabbing it back downtown to familiar territory.

So while Pacha is good for meeting men, it’s just not good for meeting men I’d ever like to take home. I guess in the end, we're all true to our stereotypes, whatever they may be--so it's a good thing I'm OK with being the judgmental New York City native who would rather be single than hang with Orlando, Igor and the rest of the gang in midtown.

This Friday night, instead of freezing your ass off in the cold air, warm it up in the heated pool at midtown's Hotel QT, where MKL and Kevin Hedge will be throwing a bash to celebrate ... something, we're not sure what. But whoever said you needed an excuse to throw a pool party in winter obviously hasn't been invited to a pool party here:

Yes, that it is indeed a swim-up bar. The sauna and steam room will be also be open, but between the boozing, the swimming and the mingling, you'll probably be busy. There's no cover charge but you must RSVP in advance. The party starts at 10pm and ends at  3am--which means you can still hit midtown bars for an hour before last call. Or, you can skip the pool party and just go straight to the bars--we hear there are girls there, too.

Practical holiday gifts are for suckers. Here's what every true boozer wants for Christmas: the Malacca Flask Umbrella from Brigg. As noted yesterday by Urban Daddy, nothing makes you want to drink 100-proof alcohol quite like a dreary day, and thanks to the booze umbrella--the flask is contained in the handle--you no longer have to cozy up to a city park bench with a 40-ounce of Olde English just because you want a drink. Instead, for the low, low price of just 425 British pounds (roughly $850 U.S.), you can carry around a large, awkward wooden umbrella stocked with the high-class booze of your choosing and no one will ever be the wiser. And that sounds totally practical and cost-effective to us.

Above: Elegant midtown hot spot Grayz is one contender for Top Bar of 2007 (Photo by Lucy Cohen Blatter)

The only thing slower than the news today is the rate at which my brain is functioning after what can only be described as a four-day bender--and both of those conditions are making it very difficult for me to come up with anything good to write about on this rainy Monday. So, how about you people help me do my job by shedding some light on the following: If you were putting together a list of the top 10 bars to open this year, what would you include? Post a comment or email me with your answers, and you just might find your favorite new watering hole featured on Citysearch this December.

After today, we'll be on hiatus until Monday, November 26th.

And remember: Every family gathering is bearable when you drink enough Wild Turkey--get the long weekend started early at one of these Thanksgiving Eve parties.

The same group that brought us the Lower East Side DRV-IN movie theater earlier this year has announced its latest project, and this time the Grand Opening group is unveiling a new holiday event space. Office Party for those without offices is like a real-world version of "The Office" in the form of a corporate-themed party space, with your real boss cast in the role of Steve Carell. Located in a former East Village social club at 170 East 2nd Street (between avenues A and B), it's described on its website as a "simulated office decked out for the holidays." And for a base rate of $400, your office party can be held in a room with the very things you're probably trying to forget while getting loaded with your co-workers: wireless computers and hi-speed internet, real cubicles, a projector, a "formerly state of the art photocopier" and holiday decorations.

If your boss is down with the spirit of giving, for an additional fee the party can be customized with add-ons like a tuba quartet playing holiday carols, a guy in a Santa suit or a motivational speaker. (Remember that old "SNL" sketch where Chris Farley played that fat, unkempt mess of a motivational speaker, Matt Foley, who lived in a van down by the river and frequently fell through the coffee table glass? Well this won't be anything like that.)

Catering, secret Santa gifts and office awards can also be arranged on a pay-per-person basis. No mention of liquor, which companies would absolutely have to provide on their own--because the only thing worse than a booze-free holiday office party in your real office is a booze-free holiday party in a simulated office. But hands-down, the best feature has to be the corporate role-playing, also available on a pay-per-person basis. You be the scantily-clad secretary and I'll be the lecherous account executive!

For more info, head to 139Norfolk.com or call (646) 478-7689

Looking for a place to throw an office party that doesn't suck? Check out our guide to Midtown Nightlife--because everyone with a real job works in midtown.

'Twas the night 'fore Thanksgiving, when all through New York, all the cool kids were busy popping $300 corks.

As any bartender will tell you, the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is traditionally one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) bar nights of the year. And in addition to the the city's ordinary bars (which will draw Friday-style crowds in the middle of the week) many of the hot spots are planning parties and turkey-inspired events with celebrity DJs, open bars, drink specials and more. We've compiled a list of 10 of this year's best, so now you'll have multiple places to drink yourself into a coma on November 21 before you eat yourself into a coma on November 22. It looks like you've got something to be thankful for after all--because what's life Thanksgiving really about if not alcohol-induced blackouts and bad decisions?

1. The Madison: Nobody seemed to notice (or care) when the Madison opened a few weeks ago, but the Bloc Group has been throwing some pretty cool parties there anyway. Wednesday's event will feature a "special surprise celebrity host and performance." (Wanna know who it is?)

2. 49 Grove: They're not saying who their "special guest DJ" is, but for the cost of one $45 ticket, you can find out for yourself.

3. Bar 13: For $20, guests can enjoy a "free" dinner buffet and a one-hour open bar (9pm-10pm), followed by two-for-one drinks (10pm-11pm) and "great" bottle specials all night.

Take a look inside the newly renovated bar at 21 7th Ave South at Leroy Street. The owners haven't yet decided what to call the new bar (which is now booking holiday parties) and are reportedly holding out for the perfect name. Got any ideas? Post a comment or email me with your suggestions, and I'll pass along to the owners.