Personally, the only draft I care about is the kind that's served in a glass, but football fans might be interested to know that this Saturday afternoon, Southern Hospitality will be throwing a special event to celebrate the NFL draft. Free and open to the public, the pre-draft show kicks off at 11am, with live coverage of the draft itself starting at 3pm. Giants center Shaun O'Hara will be making a special guest appearance, so you can congratulate him in person for the team's  recent Superbowl victory, then go sample some down-home Southern grub prepared by SoHo's new executive chef, Dr. BBQ, and take advantage of draft beer specials all day.**

**Get it? draft beer for the NFL draft? It's a lot funnier when you're as drunk as I am right now.

Just in time for March Madness, a new site called Mapfaced is offering an indispensable tool that matches bars with sports teams, allowing fans to know exactly where to find like-minded fans. As of now, 33 teams are represented on the map (which is currently in beta), though the same bars appear multiple times, with Proof and Village Pourhouse appearing most often. But who cares? With this many games and no guess-work about where to watch them, you've got lots of opportunities to participate in the great American pastime of getting belligerently drunk. Oh, and also watching basketball on large, flat-screen televisions. 

Evidently The Catholic League is none too pleased about Equinox's latest ad campaign, which depicts a series of sexy, fairytale-esque scenes shot by Ellen von Unwerth. In particular, they take issue with the hot nuns with exposed legs sketching the hot naked dude with exposed everything. The ads aren't in rotation in New York yet, but will be making their city-wide debut forthwith. In the meantime, Equinox is more than happy to exacerbate the situation by giving New Yorkers a sneak peek of what it has in store for our local magazines, billboards, and subways by displaying the new ads in the windows at three of their locations (50th Street, 19th Street and Greenwich Avenue), from now through Friday.

I belong to one of Equinox's competitors, so I can't say I know for sure what their clientele is like. But I can say that my gym is filled with fatties and old people, and if I ever once had to look at someone like the models above while "running" my 12-minute mile, I'd either kill myself or kill them. To be fair though, while these ads don't necessarily make me want to join Equinox (or ever leave my apartment again, for that matter), they do make me want to join a convent and take up sketching.

After the Giants' stunning victory over the New England Pats last night, team captain Michael Strahan is ready to celebrate, and you're invited. Actually, you're not invited, I am--but I'm extending that invitation to you.

So, if you have to work during tomorrow's ticker-tape parade, you can try to get close to a Giant by heading over to The Plumm after 10pm, where you and several thousand other New Yorkers will be vying for the chance to meet Strahan and his entourage (which will presumably include other members of the team, but no word on whether Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning will be among them).

Music by "surprise guests" means other celebrities will be there, so plan to drop cash if you show up with a bunch of dudes, and be advised that no matter what, you're probably going to spend some time waiting in line and being told that the club is "at capacity."

Don't forget to RSVP by calling (212) 517-4065.

So, instead of watching the game at a bar or boycotting the game altogether, you're planning to throw a Super Bowl party. The problem is, you're not very popular, and since the rent is due today you can't afford to pay people to show up like you usually would. That sucks, dude, but it's not too late to guarantee that everyone--from the hobo on the corner, to the goons you went to college with, and maybe even a girl--might show up.

First of all, you must provide lots and lots and lots of free beer. I can't stress this enough. The only thing that's gonna suck more than the Giants losing is the beatdown you'll get if you run out of beer. Secondly, skip the tired, mangled old wings and class it up with this recipe for barbecue pork ribs and chicken, courtesy of Sanjay Miller, Executive Chef at ESPN Zone in Times Square  ...

After their stunning victory in Green Bay last week, the New York Giants will be facing off against the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII, just four days from now.

Now, to be fair, I wholeheartedly support the Super Bowl--or any event that promotes the excessive consumption of beer and chicken wings. But believe it or not, there are some people who simply couldn't care less about football, much less Super Bowl Sunday.

Unlike your friends and family, we understand that just because you may be un-American, doesn't mean you don't want to get drunk on Sunday like every other self-respecting member of society. And that's why we put together a little something called "Just Say No to the Super Bowl," our official list of spots where you can spend Super Bowl Sunday boozing and schmoozing without any Super Bowl-related nonsense coming between you and your weird football-hating friends.

But back on planet Earth, the rest of us will be watching the game, most likely at one of these sports bars. 

Above: Midtown Manhattan's own Stan Friedman took home the ESPN Zone Ultimate Couch Potato title after 29 grueling hours of sitting in a DreamSeat, watching sports. He beat out runner-up Nate Lopez of Queens, 3rd place winner Peter Beljakovic of Brooklyn, and in last place, Lindsay Wagenblast of North Jersey.

It turns out couch potatoes aren't actually that lazy after all. How else can I explain all the mail I've received this morning, correcting various points I made in yesterday's post about the ESPN Zone Ultimate Couch Potato competition?

First of all, it turns out that there were not four dudes competing, but rather three dudes and one chick. My sincere apologies to Lindsay Wagenblast, the sole female competitor. Although I understand she came in fourth place and quit after 15 hours, the fact that she thought she had a shot says a lot about the state of women's liberation. Or something like that.

I also brushed off the fact that there actually was criteria for determining who got to compete (beyond fitting the profile of a lazy, beer-guzzling couch potato). Specifically, the four contestants were chosen on the basis of a 200-word essay they submitted describing "their interest in the event and their passion for sports," in the words of the ESPN Zone rep who contacted me this morning. (No word on which Harvard scholar was charged with the task of grading the papers.)

And last, but certainly not least, I was clearly delusional when I thought it would be OK to use the term La-Z-Boy as a generic term for recliner. More than one reader has pointed out that in fact the recliners were DreamSeats, and not, as I moronically referred to them, La-Z-Boys. I don't know what I was thinking, and for the record, from now on I will think twice before referring to any old brand of tissues as Kleenex.

Although none of the four came remotely close to beating the Guinness Book record (which would have required 69 hours, 48 minutes of continuous sports-viewing without falling asleep), Stan Friedman was the last man standing (or rather, reclining) after 29 hours, thus making him the official winner of the ESPN Ultimate Couch Potato competition. And judging from the statement he made after the competition ended yesterday afternoon, he's a pretty cool dude.

I've always wanted to be the best at something and I figured this would be the easiest to be the best at.

And the best you are, Stan. The best indeed. 

Nothing says "Happy New Year!" quite like a few murders--four, to be exact--on the first day of the year, which is precisely what happened in New York City yesterday. Still, I can't help thinking it's unfortunate that that story led the news, instead of this one...

Those of you who are naive enough to bother with resolutions you're bound to break could stand to learn a thing or two from the four fat slobs who are competing in the ESPN Zone Ultimate Couch Potato competition. Since 11am yesterday morning, four dudes with a penchant for sitting in a La-Z-Boy and gorging themselves on fried food and beer while watching the game have been, umm, sitting in a La-Z-Boy, gorging themselves on fried food and beer while watching the game. (God only knows how they found such a qualified applicant pool.) In any event, the competitors must sit in recliners at the ESPN Zone restaurant in Times Square in front of a dozen 42" HD plasma TVs and several 14' HD projection screens for 69 hours, 48 minutes straight. They can order whatever they want in the way of food and drinks, but can't sleep or move from the recliners with the exception of bathroom breaks permitted every 8 hours. The winner will receive a prize package valued at $5,000, including a recliner and an HD TV, and they'll also be able to brag that they hold the Guinness World Record for watching televised sports.

We wish them all good luck, and to the three guys who are bound to go home empty-handed, take solace in knowing that it really doesn't matter, because in a competition as mind-blowingly moronic as this one, even if you won you'd still be a loser.

Photo borrowed from Eastwick.

If you've been living out your life, wasting away and dreaming of how you'd rather be participating in co-ed, drunken, adult kickball then you're in luck, because the New York league of the World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA) is currently enrolling individuals and groups for its upcoming fall season.

A one-time $70 registration fee covers eight regular season games, a team shirt, equipment, social events, bar discounts and other so-called VIP perks. The season officially kicks off on October 23rd at 8pm under the lights at East River Park (6th St entrance).

As our tipster Rebecca Silverstein describes it, "Basically, it's a bunch of grown adults getting together outside, playing some friendly kickball, and banging it out at a bar after every game. We throw events pretty frequently with local DJs and free beer, and still find time to donate to charities!"

I don't know about all that, but I do know what free beer is, and I also know I like it--even when I have to pay $70 to get it.

So, go sign up for adult kickball now, or for specific questions, send an email.

(Thanks to Rebecca Silverstein for the tip.)