Personally, the only draft I care about is the kind that's served in a glass, but football fans might be interested to know that this Saturday afternoon, Southern Hospitality will be throwing a special event to celebrate the NFL draft. Free and open to the public, the pre-draft show kicks off at 11am, with live coverage of the draft itself starting at 3pm. Giants center Shaun O'Hara will be making a special guest appearance, so you can congratulate him in person for the team's  recent Superbowl victory, then go sample some down-home Southern grub prepared by SoHo's new executive chef, Dr. BBQ, and take advantage of draft beer specials all day.**

**Get it? draft beer for the NFL draft? It's a lot funnier when you're as drunk as I am right now.

Just in time for March Madness, a new site called Mapfaced is offering an indispensable tool that matches bars with sports teams, allowing fans to know exactly where to find like-minded fans. As of now, 33 teams are represented on the map (which is currently in beta), though the same bars appear multiple times, with Proof and Village Pourhouse appearing most often. But who cares? With this many games and no guess-work about where to watch them, you've got lots of opportunities to participate in the great American pastime of getting belligerently drunk. Oh, and also watching basketball on large, flat-screen televisions. 

Kim Kardashian will host a party tonight at Room Service to celebrate the season premiere of her E! reality show, "Keeping Up With the Kardashians." We're told that bottle service is highly recommended, "if you want to party next to the perennial party girl."

Looking for something to do this weekend that's lower on the maintenance, higher on the heavy boozing? How about the 10th annual St. Patty's Day pub crawl. Thirty bars all across the city are participating in this year's event by offering $1 Bud Light drafts and $2 well drinks to all crawlers. The festivities commence on Saturday at noon and resume on Monday at 5pm--which means you'll have ample time to celebrate St. Patrick's Day before you get fired on Tuesday for coming to work drunk. Again.

If you're not interested in an organized pub crawl but you do want to get drunk on Monday, consult our official guide to St. Patrick's Day. And finally, for more things to do, check out our weekly Hot List of events. No, seriously--check it out. If I have to update it every day, the least you can do is feign interest.

Writers are expert procrastinators, so it comes as no surprise that they decided to wait a few weeks to throw a party in honor of the end of the Writers Guild strike. Nevertheless, I think we can all agree that the strike isn't officially over until I get some free booze, even if I have to go to Plumm to get it.

The Oscars themselves were long and boring, and there were few surprises. The whole thing can be summarized as follows: Red is the new black, strippers are the new screenwriters, and everyone is knocked up. 

So rather than waste time with Access Hollywood and Page Six's morning-after roundups, watch this video, a brilliant "SNL" sketch that parodies the Oscar-winning films "No Country for Old Men" and "There Will Be Blood."

The reasons why we're thankful the WGA finally made a deal to end the writers' strike are plentiful, but it seems it could not have gone on much longer without someone attempting to assassinate Jay Leno, after Larry the Cable Guy appeared on two consecutive new episodes of "The Tonight Show" this week. And that's about 10 too many "incest in a Wal-Mart" jokes for me." L.A. Times

After last year's closure of CBGB's, many of the city's rock music venues are having trouble staying afloat.  NY Observer

A new city law will require local eateries to begin posting the calorie contents of their drinks. Why anyone would waste time with a chocolate martini when there's a perfectly good bottle of scotch on the menu is beyond me, but why said martini-drinker would want to know about the 440 liquid calories is a mystery for the ages. NY Post

Obama is kicking ass and taking names--including the name "David Wilhelm," who was Bill Clinton's campaign chair in 1992. Wilhelm told the New York Times today that he believes Obama is more electable than Hillary: "He has out-worked her, out-organized her and out-raised her," he said. New York Times Political Blog

Elsewhere, some people wondered whether Chris Matthews wasn't ever-so-slightly homosexual, after he commented that upon hearing Obama speak, "I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don't have that too often." We're sure you don't, Chris, but that doesn't mean you should talk about it on television. NewsBusters

And, finally, no one should have to endure a rainy day in a cubicle without seeing this first. My Damn Channel >> Cooking with Coolio

So, instead of watching the game at a bar or boycotting the game altogether, you're planning to throw a Super Bowl party. The problem is, you're not very popular, and since the rent is due today you can't afford to pay people to show up like you usually would. That sucks, dude, but it's not too late to guarantee that everyone--from the hobo on the corner, to the goons you went to college with, and maybe even a girl--might show up.

First of all, you must provide lots and lots and lots of free beer. I can't stress this enough. The only thing that's gonna suck more than the Giants losing is the beatdown you'll get if you run out of beer. Secondly, skip the tired, mangled old wings and class it up with this recipe for barbecue pork ribs and chicken, courtesy of Sanjay Miller, Executive Chef at ESPN Zone in Times Square  ...

Above: Surprise guest Janeane Garofalo opened for "SNL" vet Darrell Hammond. Below: Monday night at Comix

It was a full house Monday evening at Comix where assorted "Saturday Night Live" writers and players both past and present participated in a comedy event to benefit the striking Writers Guild of America, East. In keeping with the trend of wearing your support for the writers on your face, "strike beards" were in full effect, and the overall mood seemed to indicate that no one expects to return to work anytime soon.

Hosted by Jason Sudeikis (who joined the cast of "SNL" in 2005 after spending several years in the writers' room, and who also played Floyd on the first season of "30 Rock"), the original lineup boasted appearances by Andy Samberg and Fred Armisen, though in the end, neither of them were able to do so, for reasons unknown. But everything was still kosher thanks to those who did perform, including "SNL" writers Bryan Tucker ("Chappelle's Show"), 25-year-old Harvard success story (it's about time!) Colin Jost, and former staff writer Leo Allen (one half of the comedy duo Slovin & Allen). Several video clips were shown, most notably an hilarious commercial parody starring Kristin Wiig and a digital short starring Armisen and Samberg, directed by the latter's Lonely Island cohort/ "SNL" writer Akiva Schaffer, who was also in the audience at Comix but dipped out halfway through the show.

Although at least one unfortunate heckler made it known that she had only come to see unlikely dreamboat du jour Andy Samberg--whose rise to fame began two years ago with a video about cupcakes and was sustained by a video about his junk--his failure to show up was well-compensated with a special guest set by Janeane Garofalo. As always, her best material was political, and though she generally laid-off the Democratic candidates, she was more than happy to riff on their Republicans counterparts, making light of the fact that three of them "actually believe the jury's still out on evolution." Which is funny--and at the same time not so funny--'cause it's true.

But the real highlight of the evening?

Above: Sally Field mystified the world when she took home Edie Falco's Emmy last year.

This just in ... various sources (including Gawker and Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood Daily) are reporting that the Golden Globes--scheduled to take place and air on January 13th, 2008--are officially a no-go, as a result of the ongoing Writers Guild strike. Instead, the network will supposedly air a "stripped down newscast" to announce the winners, foregoing all the glitz, glamour and accidental red carpet nip-slips.

The bad news? Us Weekly is gonna have to fill a whole bunch of content that was earmarked for Golden Globes coverage, which means Britney better save some of that crazy (or Lindsay better relapse), or we'll be doomed to read about those goddamn girls from The Hills AGAIN, which I don't think I can tolerate for even one more week.

The good news? Well, for one thing, we won't have to watch the shrill, blubbering mess that is Sally Field accept an award she probably didn't deserve. Also, it's good to know that unions are still powerful entities, and that most people in Hollywood planned to respect the picket lines even before this development. And for the dorks (Golden Globe nominees excluded) who are actually upset about it, don't worry--last I checked, the Golden Globes were just an awards show that is neither the Oscars nor the Emmys.**

**Since it has come to my attention that some of my readers tend to take my antics too seriously, I should clarify that I don't actually think poorly of the Hollywood Foreign Press, nor the Golden Globes. Just the networks. And NBC Prez Jeff Zucker.

(Photo of Sally Field: Mark J. Terrill/AP Photo, courtesy of ABC News)

Above: Midtown Manhattan's own Stan Friedman took home the ESPN Zone Ultimate Couch Potato title after 29 grueling hours of sitting in a DreamSeat, watching sports. He beat out runner-up Nate Lopez of Queens, 3rd place winner Peter Beljakovic of Brooklyn, and in last place, Lindsay Wagenblast of North Jersey.

It turns out couch potatoes aren't actually that lazy after all. How else can I explain all the mail I've received this morning, correcting various points I made in yesterday's post about the ESPN Zone Ultimate Couch Potato competition?

First of all, it turns out that there were not four dudes competing, but rather three dudes and one chick. My sincere apologies to Lindsay Wagenblast, the sole female competitor. Although I understand she came in fourth place and quit after 15 hours, the fact that she thought she had a shot says a lot about the state of women's liberation. Or something like that.

I also brushed off the fact that there actually was criteria for determining who got to compete (beyond fitting the profile of a lazy, beer-guzzling couch potato). Specifically, the four contestants were chosen on the basis of a 200-word essay they submitted describing "their interest in the event and their passion for sports," in the words of the ESPN Zone rep who contacted me this morning. (No word on which Harvard scholar was charged with the task of grading the papers.)

And last, but certainly not least, I was clearly delusional when I thought it would be OK to use the term La-Z-Boy as a generic term for recliner. More than one reader has pointed out that in fact the recliners were DreamSeats, and not, as I moronically referred to them, La-Z-Boys. I don't know what I was thinking, and for the record, from now on I will think twice before referring to any old brand of tissues as Kleenex.

Although none of the four came remotely close to beating the Guinness Book record (which would have required 69 hours, 48 minutes of continuous sports-viewing without falling asleep), Stan Friedman was the last man standing (or rather, reclining) after 29 hours, thus making him the official winner of the ESPN Ultimate Couch Potato competition. And judging from the statement he made after the competition ended yesterday afternoon, he's a pretty cool dude.

I've always wanted to be the best at something and I figured this would be the easiest to be the best at.

And the best you are, Stan. The best indeed.